"Get out of my way you IDIOT!"

As you read this keep in mind that good people would never, EVER, ride a bicycle anywhere except along a path in a park. Bicycles are used for transportation only by dregs, fools, social outkasts, DUI convicts.

That is why this morning, as I rode my bicycle to work in my shirt and tie, with my suit jacket casually slung over my shoulder, this woman -





driving this vehicle -



nearly killed me in a furious attempt to get to the Downtown Starbucks in time to meet with her friends for a $15 coffee drink. She tried to pass me into oncoming traffic on a narrow downtown street, and when that failed, she tailed me with the horn blaring. As she passed she screamed at me in the loudest most piercing shriek she could bring forth from her pretty little head "GET OUT OF MY WAY YOU IDIOT!"

She blazed past me and then immediately stopped at a red light. A couple of minutes later, after I had parked and locked my bike and was standing in line at Starbucks, she came slinking in and lined up right behind me. I calmly stepped aside and offered her my space in line.

"Excuse me, but since you were so incredibly rude to me on the road, I want to show you that I am in fact a human being who walks upright, speaks clearly, and is worthy of the same respect that you would give to someone who drives a fifty thousand dollar status symbol. Go ahead, you can get in front of me, I forgive you and I know you're really in a big hurry to get to your spa appointment."

She turned around and walked out.

Moral of the story: anger management works!